The Trivial Redemption

PART IV

As I inhaled the dry and soothing smoke from the taylor made cigarette I had bummed off some random individual moments earlier, I could see the atmosphere outside the pub was far more intense than inside. There were a lot of drunken, rowdy young men laughing hysterically and far fewer young ladies sitting at tables. This was typical in this town however. The ratio of men to women was somewhat unbalanced, thus making it difficult for any man (or lesbian) to find a night time 'partner'.
It was now 11:00. I started work in 7 hours. I closed my eyes and tried to shake the helpless feeling of knowing there was nothing I could do to prevent it. I sculled a few mouthfuls of my beer to numb the pain a bit and I noticed I was feeling mildly tipsy.
"Fuck you're a girl!" Joel drunkenly stammered as he stumbled over from wherever he was, Jack Daniels in hand. He was clearly inebriated.
"What the fuck? What have I done this time?" I said impatiently. I really wasn't in the mood tonight. Joel and Jack Daniels meant a bad night for anyone who interacted with him. He got a little angry on it.
"With that chick before, you were sayin... She basically wanted you to fuck her right there," he paused, chuckling to himself "but you left like a pussy. You know what? I'm gonna go find her," Then he walked off in the direction of the bar
"Hang on for fucks sake!' I yelled as I jumped to my feet. Last thing I wanted was for him to go and humiliate me further which was all he was capable of doing at the moment.

Joel pushed through several groups of people on his way through the inner crowd, all the while I was following with an apologetic look on my face every time one of them looked at me, as if i were somehow responsible. This is always how i felt in crowds; like there was something i should be doing that i wasn't. Doctors called it 'social anxiety', i called it 'fear of fitting in'. I really didn't want to be like all of the broken angels of this place. I didn't want to be content living in the lower-middle class so i rebelled against it. My rebellion however, was only in my alcoholism, which harmed only me. I often thought of myself as a crusader for good and that my self-destruction was somehow poetic and noble. But who was I kidding? It was pathetic.

"Hello ladies," Joel said, extending his hand to the four gorgeous young women he had reached at the bar whilst i was soul searching. Thankfully, none of them were her.

"Fuck off," one at the back of the pack said, rudely. She clearly had no time for drunks tonight. Joel had a disgusted look on his face. 'Shit...' i thought to myself. This was not going to end well.

"No, you shut the fuck up slut, i wasn't even talking to you," he replied, pointing at an innocent woman at the back. Clearly, he had no idea who had said it. Before anyone could react, I stepped in front of Joel and lowered his arm, turning to the women.

"I'm sorry about him, he doesn't mean it. He has had a rough day..." I tried to excuse him, but to no avail. Joel piped up again "Like fuck! This whore thinks she's fucking better than me!" he said, trying to push past me to get in her face. I cringed and turned around. By this time, we had attracted the subtle attention of the drama hungry audience, desperate to see some action but not wanting to appear that way as they all glanced out the corner of their eyes. The bar staff had also began to notice. We were going to get kicked out, i could see it coming.

"Who the fuck is this cock bag?" a booming voice said. I turned from Joel and the crowd at our backs to see that a man, much larger than either of us, had stepped out from behind where the girls stood. Obviously, a fitness junky and it was also becoming obvious he was the boyfriend. Shit.

"What the fuck you say to me?" Joel snapped his anger quickly onto the new antagonizing party. There wasn't going to be much more time for words so i mustered up every bit of liquid strength i had and pushed Joel back, turning to the man. I took a step towards him and noticed out the corner of my eye she was standing by the women Joel had approached. She obviously only just got there because her face was contorted in a manner that displayed surprise and shock. I quickly noted her presence and added it to the courage i had mustered.

"Mate, this is all a misunderstanding," I began, waving my arms submissively without looking weak, trying to diffuse the situation.

"My friend here..."

"Your friend? Your friends with this mother fucker?" he raged at me. I was in some real trouble now.

"Well, yeah. He got fired from his..." I began to make some excuse for why Joel was being his usual asshole self when in the blink of an eye, i felt this ridiculously well built jock's knuckles impacting with my cheek; rattling my teeth. I hoped i hadn't looked to pathetic and i wished i wasn't with Joel and about a thousand other things as i fell to the floor. My head smacked the polished boards hard, then it was black...